I've been trying to form this post for awhile and I still don't feel awesome about it but I got nothing else right now.
I've been in the bishopric of the singles ward for a year now. At first it was a bit weird. Lots of the people are older than me, I was friends with lots of them before, and three were in my freshman ward. Most are probably more mature than me. Fortunately, I didn't date any of them. But I've really enjoyed the experience. Matt Cope went so far as to say the singles ward is way cooler than the family ward. (I'm going to have to hedge his assessment since he has such a small sampling pool. He doesn't play ball or Halo with the EQ and I can count on two fingers the number of social activities I've seen him at outside of his home.) I think the main reason I've been so well received is because I brought Tamara so she and her friends can sit in the back and stand in the hallways and talk. And to play matchmaker. Whatever it takes though.
I've been in the bishopric of the singles ward for a year now. At first it was a bit weird. Lots of the people are older than me, I was friends with lots of them before, and three were in my freshman ward. Most are probably more mature than me. Fortunately, I didn't date any of them. But I've really enjoyed the experience. Matt Cope went so far as to say the singles ward is way cooler than the family ward. (I'm going to have to hedge his assessment since he has such a small sampling pool. He doesn't play ball or Halo with the EQ and I can count on two fingers the number of social activities I've seen him at outside of his home.) I think the main reason I've been so well received is because I brought Tamara so she and her friends can sit in the back and stand in the hallways and talk. And to play matchmaker. Whatever it takes though.
One of my good friends in DC, Summer, just got engaged and we were talking about singles vs. married wards. We've both spent a fair amount of time in singles wards in some capacity. Now, the following comments are made in regards to singles ward, not student wards. These are wards with people who have finished their undergrad or are over 25. Basically, people who are working. There are only a few places where there are large concentrations of these wards-NYC, Boston, DC, LA, etc. The general (there are always exceptions which is why I said general as opposed to some definitive term) feeling was that people in singles ward are a bit more diligent than in family wards-callings, showing up to help at moves, HT/VT, etc. I think the reason is single people have a big goal in mind-getting married-that helps them focus on doing the right things. After that a certain amount of being comfortable ensues. Whether or not they are diligent for the right reasons is a topic for another discussion. I think at some point (or perhaps several) in life people have an epiphany and realize where the gospel needs to be in their life and this changes but from 25-35 years old I think this is generally true. Summer and I briefly talked about what we need to do to avoid that and there weren't any revolutionary ideas but I think being aware of it is a start. Always having something to work on is important. I don't think it's because people have kids because this is also true for guys without kids. And seriously, is there ever a Saturday where you really want to help someone move? I don't know anybody who wakes up and says, Man, I wish there were someone moving today.
Anyway just some food for though. I really like our ward and it's awesome having so many people who are diligent and righteous and helping to forward the work around here.
4 comments:
To an extent, I slightly disagree. Having been EQ Prez, Mission Prez, etc of a singles ward for many years - it is my experience that there are about 6 people who do every single thing in a singles ward. Literally everything. They show up to every move. They volunteer at every activity. They orgnize, lead, meet, and participate. The rest show up to church, hit parties/activities, and basically benefit off the work of others.
But I do agree with how comfort slowly creeps in with marriage. Maybe after 10 years of being the go to guy one feels ready for a break. Until they get called into the singles ward bishopric that is.
i slightly disagree but only because i'm in a family ward because i'm too old to qualify for the singles ward. My disagreement is that no matter what type of ward you are in, it is the individual who decides just how "active" they choose to be in their callings and ward. when i was in a singles ward, which was limited to college, i chose not to be as diligent in my ward activities. Currently, i feel i am much more active in my ward and more assiduous in my callings. I think once an individual decides to be "active" or "inactive" then they as they so choose. My 2 cents.
the type is too small for so much commentary.
In almost all wards, 10% of the people do 100% of the work, like helping on Saturday.
Be sure you're part of the 10%!!!
hmmmmmmm- I'd like to say something here, but am not quite sure how to be diplomatic about it....
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